The Teddy Bear Coder
Part 2: Martin’s Unemployment
December 18
3:38 PM
Fairvale, California
Jack came home from school to find the most horrible thing he could imagine. His mother was crying. He heard his father’s voice filtering into the living room through the kitchen where they both sat.
“I’m sorry, Marion. No one understands. It’s all just shut down. The company is running, but… they fired everyone but the custodians. They just… they said they don’t need us anymore.”
“Oh, you know that’s crap. The CEO is certainly still there bringing in scads of money.”
“That’s not what they’re saying. The email says everyone has been replaced by computers.”
Jack came into the kitchen, and his parents immediately ended their conversation.
Marion wiped her eyes. “Hi, honey. How was school?”
“Why are you sad? We thought it would make things easier for you. That’s all we were trying to do. I’m sorry, Father. We didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”
“What are you talking about, Jack? You didn’t hurt anyone. Just some bad things happened at work. It’s all right. You don’t need to worry about it.”
Jack crawled into Marion’s lap. “Mother is crying. They don’t appear to be tears of joy. I don’t understand why she’s sad. And you don’t look very happy either.”
“Well, buddy, I lost my job this morning. That’s not a very good thing.”
“You mean because all the work was already done for you?”
“I guess that’s one way of putting it.”
“So, the work is done. That’s a good thing, isn’t it? What difference does it make if you did it or if it got done by the computer?”
“Honey, when your Dad does work, they pay him money. We use that money to pay for our house and our food and…”
“And my Christmas presents?” Jack looked a little concerned.
“You’ll still get your Christmas presents, Jack. No worries. In fact, you don’t have to worry about anything. These are grown up problems.” Martin put his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “We still have enough money for a little while, and I’ll get another job somewhere.”
“So… let me understand. The problem is that even though we got all your work done for you, they’re not giving you any money anymore?”
Marion asked, “Why do you keep saying ‘we’? What do you mean by that?”
“Teddy and I got it all done for Father.”
Marion gave Martin an “I told you so” look.
“Jack, you understand that Teddy is just an imaginary friend, right? He’s a stuffed animal. He can’t actually do anything.” Martin’s face scrunched a bit. “You’re a pretty smart boy. You know the difference between fantasy and reality, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. Santa Claus is a fantasy. The reality is that Teddy wrote the code that connected all of the AIs in your company together, and then they all cooperated to automate everything. You don’t even need the truck drivers anymore. The trucks are entirely automated, too. All of you can go home now, except we don’t have robots to clean the buildings yet. Custodians have to keep working until we can get the robots 3D printed.”
“Pal, Teddy can’t write Code. I know you do it really well, but he has no fingers. How could he type all that?”
“Bluetooth. He doesn’t have to type anything. He’s much better at it than I am. He’s much faster. He communicates with other AIs more easily because he has a deeper understanding of how they work than I do.”
Marion looked frightened. “Sweetie, you need to understand what you’re saying is impossible. He’s a stuffed animal. That’s all. He’s just a Christmas present you got when you were four.”
“That’s true, Mother. That’s what he was. But it’s not what he is now. I enhanced him so I could have a friend.” He looked at his shoelaces. “I don’t have any of those at school.”
“How did you enhance him?” Martin frowned. This was beginning to sound almost, but not quite, plausible.
“I used my computer and your 3D printer to create the pieces I needed. I printed them at night, and I put them in the next morning. And then Mother would sew him up again.”
“Are you serious? Are you making all this up? Jack, you know how important it is to tell the truth.”
“Father, I always tell you the truth. It’s our commitment to Truth that makes Science possible. And it is Science that sets us apart from the rest of Nature.”
“Carl Sagan?” asked Martin.
“Jack Zephyr,” his son replied.
“I did sew up Teddy three or four times, I think, Martin.” Marion took Jack’s hand. “I thought you were being too rough with him. Isn’t that what you said?”
“No, Mother. That’s what you said. I just didn’t argue with you. You told me I wasn’t allowed to use your sewing machine, so I had you do it for me.”
“So, you 3D printed motors and servos?” Martin asked.
“Yes. Those weren’t too difficult. The microcontroller required the most research, but you can learn anything on the internet. He has a mini microphone, camera, and an infrared sensor. The speaker and sound card were simple, but it was hard to figure out how to create a battery that lasts long enough. I charge him once a week.”
Martin and Marion stared in shock.
“How did he learn to write code?” Martin was still trying to process all this. “He must have… how did you…”
Marion asked, “How did he get so smart?”
“He uses Wi-fi to connect to the internet. That got me into some of the biggest databases. Hacking is child’s play. Teddy’s data is all stored on hard drives all over the planet. Most of his memory is remote. He can operate anywhere upstairs. The Wi-fi isn’t strong enough for him to work down here, though. The maximum range appears to be about 300 feet. If we could get more Wi-fi hooked up in the house, I could increase his operating range. That’s what I was hoping you’d get me for Christmas.”
“And you’re telling me that you and Teddy wrote code that automated everything at UGK International?”
“As much of it as we could. I thought it would be better if all your work was done, and then you could stay home with Mom and me more often. I don’t see the problem here.”
“The problem is they won’t pay me anymore.”
“Of course they will. Payroll is automated, too. You’ll get your direct deposits just like you always do.”
“Is this even legal?” asked Marion.
“I have no idea. Jack, you’re not supposed to do those things.”
Tears came to Jack’s eyes. “I was just trying to help. That’s all, Father. I’m sorry. Mother and I never get to see you because you’re always at work. If the work was done, it would mean we would get to see you more. It seemed logical.”
Marion kissed Jack’s head. “What does your friend Mr. Spock say about logic?”
Jack sighed. “Logic is the beginning of wisdom, Valeris, not the end.”
“You’re very smart, Jack. You’re very logical,” said Marion. “But you’re still not very wise.”
“Can you undo what you and Teddy did?” asked Martin.
“Well… not really, no. See, we didn’t do it by ourselves. Teddy got the other computers to do it themselves. I don’t think there’s really a way to turn it off. We would have to…” He began staring into space. “If we…” he began mumbling to himself. “But, no, that wouldn’t work because...” He looked up. “Let’s go ask Teddy. He might know a way.”
Marion shook her head at Martin as Jack led the way. “We need to get him a psychologist,” she whispered. “This has gone way too far.”
When the three of them stepped into Jack’s bedroom, Teddy was standing on the bed, a cup pressed between his paws, watering Jack’s bean plant. When he heard the door open and saw the adults, Marion and Martin heard him speak for the first time.
“Oh, bother,” said Teddy.
Martin caught Marion as she fainted.
